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Thomas Triggs / Android Authority

Despite frequently hopping between some of the best wireless earbuds, I still don’t feel like I’ve found my perfect pair. It’s not that any models I’ve used are bad in their own right. It’s more that I like each of them for different and specific reasons. Between the Samsung, Sony, and other buds at my disposal, I have an orchestra full of features that I enjoy. But it’s a pain having to switch between buds when I want to experience the best of a particular functionality.

But what if I could somehow take them apart and put all of their best qualities together? With their high-end features combined, they’d make for an impressive set of earbuds indeed. Maybe then I could have all of the features I’m looking for all in one place. Strange though it is, Frankenstein’s earbuds would sound monstrously good. Here’s what they should look like.

Squeeze controls just make sense

Thomas Triggs / Android Authority

The Oneplus Buds Pro aren’t the best all-around headphones on the market. They’re comfortable but don’t form a particularly strong seal in my ears. They don’t boast the most impressive sound quality, either. Nor do they benefit from superior ANC or transparency capabilities. Their single high-quality Bluetooth codec, LHDC, also leaves audiophiles wanting. It’s not hosted by most phones, so its usefulness is limited from the get-go. At first glance, there’s nothing particularly special to brag about.

And yet, there is a secret hidden gem to be found here: squeeze controls. Honestly, I can’t help but love them. The definitive action of squeezing the earbud stem leaves little room for confusion. You can also find this brilliant idea on the Apple AirPods Pro, Nothing Ear Stick, and the new OnePlus Buds Pro 2.

Samsung’s ANC keeps my head voice singing

Ryan McLeod / Android Authority

Let’s face it; the Samsung Galaxy Buds Pro and Buds 2 Pro are champions when it comes to noise cancelation, and I’d pinch it for my ultimate pair of earbuds any day of the week. They easily outmatch the capabilities of the OnePlus Buds Pro, Nothing Ear 1, and Sony LinkBuds WF-L900 I’ve been using. Not only is the ANC excellent, but the earbuds are large enough to form a good seal. That means my music is isolated from external environmental sounds. I’ve worn these buds on the London Underground and barely noticed when a train pulls into the station. You could argue they’re almost too good.

Nothing fits better than Nothing Ear 1

Rita El Khoury / Android Authority

I’ll admit, I suffer from oddly-shaped left and right ear canals. This became apparent to me while wearing the Samsung Galaxy Buds Pro earbuds. Far too often, the left earbud kept falling out of my ear. At first, I thought I hadn’t secured it in the right place. But then I noticed discomfort with other earbuds. It didn’t matter whether I was wearing the OnePlus Buds Pro or the LinkBuds WF-L900 earbuds. The left earbud always felt like it was seconds away from falling out. Thankfully, changing ear tips helps. But there’s one earbud I’ve never had to consider changing ear tips for: Nothing Ear 1. My colleagues agree too; the Nothing Ear 1 offer a level of comfort that others should strive to emulate.

Sony’s Headphones app reigns supreme

Thomas Triggs / Android Authority

If you’ve ever worn Sony LinkBuds WF-L900, it probably wouldn’t shock you that I’m not their biggest cheerleader. The sound quality lacks bass, they aren’t very comfortable, and the absence of ANC is a huge oversight. Listening to music outside is a pain, as unwanted sound pours through the doughnut-shaped hole in their design. Unless you’re sat alone at home or out running on busy streets, there isn’t a particularly good environment for these buds. It may sound harsh, but there’s a reason ANC technology is so sought after. Thankfully, the Sony WF-1000XM4 are much better.

Still, my experience with these earbuds revealed that Sony absolutely nails the accessibility and customization options that are so often overlooked by others. We should absolutely absorb these into our Frankenstein’s earbuds too.

Sometimes you have to judge a book by its cover

Rita El Khoury / Android Authority

Nothing slips under my tragus

I can’t help thinking there’s an incredible set of earbuds waiting to be made here. One that hosts squeeze controls, superior ANC, long-lasting comfort, and a solid companion app. Each of them alone are great features to have, so why not put them all together? Combined, they’d make for the ultimate set of earbuds. If a headphone manufacturer ever makes them, I’ll be first in the queue.

But as much as I would love Frankenstein to stitch all of these features together, one, in particular, takes precedence for me. Above all else, I can’t ignore the importance of a comfortable fit. It’s impossible to truly enjoy superior ANC, squeeze controls, and impressive phone applications when your earbuds give you grief.

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