You are reading the article Let’s Talk About Sex, In The Dark updated in December 2023 on the website Daihoichemgio.com. We hope that the information we have shared is helpful to you. If you find the content interesting and meaningful, please share it with your friends and continue to follow and support us for the latest updates. Suggested January 2024 Let’s Talk About Sex, In The DarkLet’s Talk about Sex, in the Dark BU event welcomes frank questions about sex, sexuality
Sophie Godley says “‘the sex talk’ needs to be banished” and replaced with a conversation that starts early and repeats often. Photo by Nailya Maxyutova (COM’14)
For some reason, difficult conversations flow more smoothly in the dark.
At least, that’s what organizers of tonight’s Sex in the Dark: A Glow-in-the-Dark Sexpert Panel are counting on as they turn down the lights in Jacob Sleeper Auditorium so that attendees can freely ask their most intimate sex and relationship questions. Glowing paraphernalia like sunglasses and necklaces will be given out to brighten the atmosphere and turn a sometimes embarrassing or uncomfortable conversation into a more festive one.
Wellness & Prevention Services organized the event, which features sexperts Sophie Godley (SPH’15), a School of Public Health clinical assistant professor; Teri Aronowitz, a Student Health Services (SHS) nurse practitioner, a Sargent College adjunct clinical assistant professor, and a School of Medicine assistant professor; Mark Weber, an SHS senior staff physician; and Elizabeth Boskey, a College of Arts & Sciences lecturer in psychology and women’s, gender, and sexuality studies.
Godley spoke with BU Today about some common misconceptions about sex, consent, and why “the sex talk” needs a 21st-century overhaul.BU Today: Why is Boston University hosting this event?
Godley: These types of events send the message that a lot of us are concerned about, interested in, and support healthy sexuality for our students. This is an important part of being a college student, and there are a lot of people here who want to help you navigate this.Why did organizers decide to cut the lights?
Most of us didn’t grow up in a culture or a community where sex and sexuality were talked about at the breakfast table. It’s an acknowledgement that this might be something that people are uncomfortable about or may have some trepidation about asking honest questions.
The other thing is that it just makes it more fun. I love that about it, because so much of what’s wrong with sex education in this country is that it’s based on fear and it’s based on shame, so adding a playful element is wonderful. I’d much rather have people hearing about sex and sexuality and getting to ask their questions in an environment of enjoyment instead of an environment of fear.What are some of students’ common misconceptions about sex?
Sadly, we do get a lot of questions indicating there’s a fair amount of sex happening that’s not terribly enjoyable, particularly for women. We haven’t done enough in our communities or in our homes to educate young people about what it is that they want to get out of their sex and sexuality, how to go about asking for that, and how to have a voice.
I blame a lot of this on the influx of pornography. People have wild misperceptions about what sex is and what it should look like. They’re pretty disappointed when the reality hits and it’s not the mind-blowing, extremely loud, ridiculous orgasm that you see on pornography, which of course is fake. So how do we get down to authentic sex and sexuality, and what does that look like and what does it feel like? Students have a lot of questions about that. And then there’s always common misperceptions, both over- and underestimation, of the risks of sex and sexuality.Could you elaborate on that?
Students get very concerned about human papillomavirus (HPV), but we don’t talk as much about chlamydia. We should be talking a lot about chlamydia. People hear that they have an abnormal pap smear and their very next thought is that they’re going to die of cervical cancer. HPV is very prevalent. Most of the time it’s not going to lead to cervical cancer. Unfortunately, there’s so much miseducation about it that I think sometimes we terrify people. I don’t think there’s a lot of good gained from that.Do you feel there’s a clear understanding among students about sexual consent?
I think so. One of the things we have to change culturally is that consent is too low of a bar. We should be going for enthusiasm. Consent isn’t sufficient. It shouldn’t just be, ‘Yeah, I agree.’ ‘Then good, I’m not raping you.’ That’s not enough. It should really feel worth it. There should be some enthusiasm there. We have to stop setting up young men and young women with these crazy roles that they think they’re supposed to play, and instead make room for some true sexual exploration. There just needs to be less of this expectation that all men are terrible and they’re going to try to get this from you. And there needs to be less of an anticipation that all young women should be saying, ‘No,’ and don’t really want to have sex. And that if they do, then there’s something wrong with them.You were on a panel for a similar BU event last February. Were there any surprises or common themes that emerged in students’ questions?
The thing that broke my heart last year was just how many female students asked questions about problems with orgasming or not enjoying sex. That’s like going through your whole life saying that you don’t enjoy food. I think of having a healthy sexuality as a basic human right. What have we done wrong that people don’t know how to have that in their lives, they don’t know how to ask for it?
Then there’s the usual questions about birth control and options. Luckily the students go to such a great school, where we have phenomenal health services with very up-to-date birth control methods and professionals to help young women on campus make the right choice.
I tell parents that you would never leave any other health or safety issue entirely out of all conversations and expect that in one awkward 30-minute moment you’re going to give them every message they’ll ever need to learn. “The sex talk” needs to be banished from our vernacular. It has to be a conversation, and I think frankly it needs to start when children are born. We’re sexual beings from the time we’re born until the time we die. That sex and sexuality change enormously. What I say to my 2-year-old is totally different than what I say when they’re 12. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t say anything when they’re two. I still teach them their body parts. I still talk about private and public. I still talk about love, what feels good, and what doesn’t feel good.
The analogy I use is car seats. When two-year-olds get in the car, you put them in their car seat. When they’re five, they get to buckle themselves in. When they’re 14, you have to remind them. And when they’re 16, they’re driving. The conversation changes every year as they change, but it’s always a conversation. So don’t wait. You’ll be more awkward if you wait until they’re 15, and they’ll be more awkward. It really helps to start the conversation early and often and just keep going.
Sex in the Dark: A Glow-in-the-Dark Sexpert Panel is tonight at the College of General Studies Jacob Sleeper Auditorium, 871 Commonwealth Ave., from 7 to 8:30 p.m. The event is free and open to BU students, faculty, and staff.
Explore Related Topics:
You're reading Let’s Talk About Sex, In The Dark
Ask Away at Sex in the Dark Tonight BU’s annual glow-in-the-dark event and sexpert panel will field all queries
The annual Sex in the Dark event, hosted by BU Student Health Services Wellness & Prevention, provides a place for students to anonymously ask BU community experts questions about sexual health and relationships.
Asking sex-related questions, even of a medical expert, can be awkward, uncomfortable, and just plain scary. As a result, people don’t always have the information they need to make informed and healthy decisions when it comes to sex and relationships.
At tonight’s Sex in the Dark, dubbed the “hottest Q&A on campus,” questions and discussion are expected to touch on subjects ranging from consent and communication to sexual identity, sexually transmitted diseases, and more.
“We know that college students and students at Boston University come from all over the country and all over the world, and that there is no consistent sexual health education in the United States, and globally as well,” says Katharine Mooney (SPH’12), Wellness & Prevention director. Tonight’s event is designed to provide medically accurate information about sex.
“Students might be getting information from sources that they trust but that’s really not correct, so this is a nice opportunity to expose folks to information that is accurate,” says Wellness & Prevention prevention program administrator Mia Trentadue, one of the organizers. “This event is really about the students, and it’s whatever they want it to be.”
The evening begins with a Resource Fair at 6 pm. Students can stop by tables staffed by on- and off-campus organizations, including BU’s Center for Gender, Sexuality & Activism and Sexual Assault Response and Prevention Center (SARP), the Bisexual Resource Center, Planned Parenthood, Fenway Health, Athena’s Home Novelties, Global Protection Corp, and BU’s Student Health Ambassadors, who will be handing out information about resources and services.
The four experts on this year’s panel are SARP crisis intervention counselor Cherita Cloy, Rich Galgano, SHS associate director of primary care, Lola-Ade Akintobi (SPH’16), of the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, and Michal Goderez, the lead sex educator with Good Vibrations, a retail shop in Harvard Square.
“We feel it’s really important to have folks from the BU community, since we know that our students often interface with these people,” Trentadue says about the panelists. “As far as the other panelists, we like to have people who are well versed in sexual health education.”
Good Vibrations is a sex-positive adult toy company with an emphasis on sex education. “One of the reasons I’m excited that Good Vibrations is going to be on the panel is the idea of coming at sexual education not just from the factual element of health and safety, but from the perspective of pleasure,” says Goderez. “It’s the piece that’s missing the most from people’s education.”
Data from the Guttmacher Institute, a research and policy group dedicated to promoting sexual and reproductive health and rights, indicate why events like tonight’s are so important. They report that only 18 states and Washington, D.C., require that contraception information be provided in sex education classes, and only 12 states require discussion of sexual orientation, while 37 states require that abstinence information be provided.
According to Goderez, the lack of proper, standardized sex education stems from many factors. “A big problem is that in areas that are trying to provide good sex education,” they say, “the teachers aren’t even well-informed because of the ongoing history of lack of information.” In addition to the Q&A, tonight’s event will feature students performing skits or reading vignettes touching on subjects like sexual identity and relationships.
“Those conversations we know aren’t always pictured in the movies or seen in other kinds of pop culture,” says Mooney. “So it’s an opportunity for us to role-play some of those things and just make it a more normal part of the conversation on campus.”
Program evaluations show that Sex in the Dark makes a difference: 87 percent of students who come to the event say they feel more informed about their sexual health after attending, 85 percent say they are better prepared to talk about sexual issues with a partner, and 82 percent say they are more comfortable accessing sexual health resources on campus.
“We’re proud to see that it’s not only something fun for students to attend,” Mooney says, “but that they really leave the event feeling more informed and empowered.”
Sex in the Dark: A Glow-in-the-Dark Sexpert Panel is tonight, Monday, October 22, at 7 pm, in the School of Law Auditorium, 765 Commonwealth Ave. Doors open at 6 pm and students can visit various tables to learn about sexual health resources on and off campus and get glow-in-the-dark giveaways like bracelets, necklaces, and foam glow sticks. The event is free and open to BU students, faculty, and staff.
Sara Frazier can be reached at [email protected].
The point that was driven home to me the most, however, is the apparent lack of resources to make the switch to (or even merely recognize the value of) desktop Linux. Clearly there are legitimate barriers that are in place that make educating teachers, IT personnel and to a degree, even students, difficult at best.
But something has taken place recently that might help schools overcome this barrier. It’s called the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009.
Duplicable and sustainable technology for education?
We now have a new stimulus package that is set to change much of the face of our national. Like it or hate it, this “bundle of funds” is headed into a number of critical sectors of the US economy with the idea of jumpstarting our economy – including schools.
What’s interesting is the fact that the previously mentioned challenges of resources for re-tooling our educational infrastructure to work with Linux suddenly seems a lot less like a viable excuse.
Indeed, it’s not only foolish to take these funds and invest them into resources that clearly are not performing a belt tightening function, it borders the same mentality that thought throwing money into the financial sector’s black hole was a good investment of tax payer funds.
Convinced that I am off my rocker? Allow me to present my case before passing judgment.
Sticking to what we have always done is clearly not something that works among all school income levels. Yes, schools with better access to immediate local funds are able to continuously revamp with new computers every few years, while schools from the inner city might be lucky to keep older PCs running at all.
Then there is the issue of sustainability. If I hypothetically donated 100 brand new computers to a school, powered by proprietary closed source software, what are the odds that those PCs will be running the latest secure operating system with the latest security patches five years later? Not all that good, I’d speculate.
As we have seen with Windows Vista, proprietary OS vendors such as Microsoft have a nasty habit of requiring more resources with each new OS release. And while this appears to be changing based on what I have seen with my own testing of Windows 7 beta builds, there remains the issue of licensing costs. Even if Microsoft decides to never charge US schools for access to Windows 7, I hardly think the same will hold true for MS Office or other non-Microsoft related proprietary software.
Need further clarification? Let me put it this way: if the economy keeps going the way it has been, this stimulus bill may be the only shot of fresh federal funds education is going to get for a very long time. This means whatever approach US education opts for regarding technology, it had better be something that can be sustained when the stimulus funds run out.
This is where I see open source software and Linux stepping up to the challenge in a way that’s not practical for Windows.
Obama wants stimulus to transform schools. Linux, anyone?
Without squabbling over the politics of what the new US president wants for our educational system, the fact of the matter is he now has access to enormous spending power to potentially improve what schools’ financial resources.
And as we explored previously, using the same methods once believed to be successful as to “get our kids ready for the real world” is proving to be a lot less possible with our current set of economic circumstances. This translates into thinking “mean and lean.” Put bluntly, this means training existing IT personnel how to integrate Linux resources alongside Windows solutions and hiring individuals who can make this happen with their existing skill set.
I know there is software, both proprietary and open source, that can make this transition work. Best of all, there is a two-fold benefit I haven’t touched on yet. Incorporating Linux into the mix also translates into new jobs today in addition to creating mentors for students to emulate tomorrow.
Job retention, job creation, and the new infrastructure will last a lot longer than anything exclusively Windows based alone.
Now before everyone reading this opts to immediately point out a variety of reasons why this could “never work,” consider the following first.
It’s already been done. As much as I hate to break it to people, back in 2006, the Indiana Department of Education added Linux workstations for 22,000 students through a program called “ACCESS.” The same goes for Ohio.
Linux does Windows. As I pointed out in this article from 2008, blending in needed legacy Windows software is not all that difficult. As a matter of fact, you could keep needed Windows desktops running for Windows-dependent tasks, while reducing costs on unneeded Windows licenses for desktops better suited to run desktop Linux instead.
Reviving PCs from the scrap heap. With distributions such as Puppy Linux, schools can suddenly wipe old hard drives containing Windows 95 and replace them with an actively used OS that is more secure and better supported.
Familiarity is 99% hot air. One of the biggest issues teachers and many IT personnel tend to point out is that students are used to using Windows and the software designed for it. Some believe that asking these folks to switch is a productivity hit during the “retraining” process.
This is complete nonsense. First, desktop Linux can be made to look almost exactly like Windows if it’s needed. And this process can be cloned very easily for duplication, district wide. Secondly, the only killer app that comes to mind that students will be taking with them as they grow is their familiarity with MS Office.
But thanks to the new idiot ribbon layout of Office 2007, this software already looks nothing like it did in previous revisions. So it stands to reason that Open Office or even Google Docs is something that students could wrap their minds around.
A spirit of playfulness infuses Lydia Diamond’s modern take on Aristophanes’ racy Greek comedy classic Lysistrata, originally written between 427 and 387 B.C. It’s partly the subject matter — Lysistrata is about a group of women who stage a sex strike to end the Peloponnesian War — but also the project’s pacing, which had Diamond still writing the play, titled Lizzie Stranton, even as rehearsals were under way.
“It was faster than most projects ever happen in theater,” says Diamond, a College of Fine Arts assistant professor of playwriting. “It was a challenge, artistically, writing something in four months. But it was so wonderful collaborating with student designers, stage management who were students, professional theater makers and educators, who were all totally on board with the spirit of, ‘The play isn’t even done and we’re going into rehearsals.’ It was all very laid-back and fun.”
In Lizzie Stranton — which opens at the Wimberly Theatre on Thursday, December 11 — Lizzie Stranton is an African-American woman living in a fictional America-like country in 2023, led by a black president and first lady. The economy is in chaos and the world embroiled in war. As in the original, Lizzie organizes a sex strike to try and force an end to the fighting. “There’s something disturbing and wonderful about the timeliness of the play,” Diamond says. “Things are so precarious right now. It’s sometimes easier to acknowledge and process that through comedy.”
The production is part of the school of theatre’s New Play Initiative, a program that connects CFA faculty and students with professional theaters such as Boston University’s Huntington Theatre Company, the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, Minn., the Woolly Mammoth Theatre in Washington, D.C., and the Olney Theatre in Maryland.
While Lizzie Stranton is a brand-new play, it is “unabashedly based on the Lysistrata story,” says Diamond, who several years ago adapted the Toni Morrison novel The Bluest Eye to much acclaim. “It was a really good lesson in creativity. There was a certain level of letting go and trusting that made it a successful project. The process of making it fits the telling of the piece.”
Elaine Vaan Hogue, a CFA assistant professor of acting and directing and the director of Lizzie Stranton, says that war and sex cut across all time and cultural barriers and keep a play like Lysistrata relevant today.
“Lizzie’s plan, as outlandish as it seems, is actually a very practical and doable thing,” Vaan Hogue says. “I hope that our audiences laugh and have outrageous fun. I don’t believe in message theater. I invite our audiences to enter into Lizzie’s world, to engage a unique perspective on war and sex, and to take away what has meaning and resonance for them personally.”
Lizzie Stranton runs December 11 through 20 at the BCA Calderwood Pavilion’s Wimberly Theatre, 527 Tremont St., Boston. Tickets are $12 for the general public; $10 for students, senior citizens, BU alumni, Huntington Theatre Company subscribers, and WGBH members; one free ticket for the BU community, with BU ID, at the door on the day of the performance, subject to availability. Vaan Hogue, Diamond, and dramaturg Ilana Brownstein, a CFA lecturer, will host a postperformance talk on Thursday, December 11. The performance on Thursday, December 18, will be ASL interpreted.
Caleb Daniloff can be reached [email protected].
Explore Related Topics:
REVIEW: The Relationship-Based Enterprise: Powering Business Success Through Customer Relationship Management
By Ray McKenzie
How do you define the value of your enterprise? In market capitalization? Quality of products and services? Customer retention? In his new book, Ray McKenzie teaches managers to value the corporation in a new way–through its various relationships. To build and sustain those relationships, and, by the way, company value, McKenzie says managers need to engage their customers in meaningful, ongoing conversations.
Based in Seattle, McKenzie is the Director of Management Consulting at DMR Consulting. Building on the concepts of Customer Relationship Management (CRM), his work will help at least some of your consumers become co-creators in your company’s products and services. By engaging customers, suppliers, employees, and others in rich conversations, managers glean information about adding value to products, services, co-branding opportunities, management techniques–anything that promotes a healthier business.
The book is presented in five parts. Part I defines CRM and the Relationship-Based Enterprise, introduces the vocabulary of his approach, and paints the landscape of the new economy the Internet and other technologies have created. The section concludes with a framework for nurturing valuable conversations and sustaining them over a long period of time. According to his framework, managers should place each consumer into one of four basic groups: patrons, customers, clients, or partners. Each group desires a different level of conversation and offers distinct value to the enterprise. For example, patrons want limited conversations and focus on getting their products at the cheapest price possible. They push the enterprise to create a smooth purchasing experience. At the other end, companies have vast amounts of information about their partners and frequently engage them in rich conversations. Partners help the enterprise define and refine its products and services.
Parts II through IV focus on the “three D’s” of the Relationship-Based Enterprise: Discovery, Dialogue, and Discipline. Discovery is customer identification. It includes not only defining your customers, but also determining what information you must collect from them. The Discovery process helps you learn what the customers want from interactions with your company and the value potentials of the four groups of customers. Dialogue helps you determine the type of relationship you want with each customer, ways to absorb information, and how to share control. Traditionally, companies have viewed information as highly proprietary. The Internet changes that; everything is out in the open. This section seeks to answer: How will the modern corporation provide value in the face of such openness?
The Discipline section discusses the managerial considerations of the Relationship-Based Enterprise. In the Information Age, the rules of business have changed and the behaviors of the enterprise’s human resources must change with them. Getting people out from behind their desks and into rich conversations with customers can be a difficult task. Equally difficult is creating an environment that can change quickly and effectively with the capricious needs of its customers. For some, this will require a radical shift in control.
The Relationship-Based Enterprise is a treasure chest displaying many jewels from this new layer in CRM that should be of benefit to senior executives and managers. While highly appropriate for non-technical managers and those lacking successful experience in CRM, the book doesn’t include much for the implementers in the IT community. CRM software, chat programs, VoIP, and other technologies are mentioned, but the author provides no implementation specifics. Let’s hope Ray McKenzie’s next contribution to CRM builds on his enterprise transformation work to provide the IT community with a roadmap detailing how to support the Relationship-Based Enterprise.
If your working sessions in Microsoft Word often continue well into the night, you may want to consider switching to dark mode to help reduce eye strain in low-light conditions and keep up your productivity levels. Even if you’re not a night owl, you may still appreciate the way Word looks cladded in black. This tutorial walks you through the basics of switching to dark mode in Microsoft Word.How to Enable Dark Mode in Word on PC
Most people tend to use the Microsoft Word desktop app. If that describes you, follow these steps to transition to the “dark” side.
To change to a darker shade, select “Dark Gray.” Word will automatically switch to the new tonality.
“Black” is another option you may find in this menu. It started rolling out to Insider Beta Channel users running Version 2012 (Build 13518.10000) or later. Microsoft typically releases features over time to ensure things are working smoothly. If you don’t see this option, you may have to upgrade to a newer Word version.
If you don’t have the “Black” option but want to go even darker, select “Use system settings” instead. This requires you to switch your system’s UI to “Dark” first.
Select “Light” next to “Choose your default Windows mode” and “Dark” next to “Choose your default app mode.”
Dark mode will apply only to your opened apps.
As you can see in the screenshots, the results are quite different. Applying the “Dark Gray” theme will leave the document’s page(s) white, while applying the “System” theme will black out almost everything except the text style cards in the upper-right corner.
If you prefer a darker background with white pages, you’ll be okay opting for “Dark Gray.” But what if you prefer the blacker version? You can turn your pages white in this case as well. Jump to the next section to find out how.How to Keep Word Documents White in Dark Mode
With the “Black” or “System” theme enabled, you can make the page white if you would like but cannot do this with the text style cards.
Go to “File” in Word.
In the menu on the left, select “Options” (all the way at the bottom). If your Word window is not maximized, you may need to press “More” first.
A new window will pop up. Select “General” on the left, then look for the “Personalize your copy of Microsoft Office” section.
Check the option to “Never change the document page color” next to “Office Theme.”
Press “OK” to return to your document, which should look like this now.How to Enable Dark Mode in Word for Web
If you’d rather work on your project using Word in your browser, know that you can also turn dark mode on from there. Follow these steps to do so.
Access the Microsoft Word live page. Keep in mind that you’ll need to log in with a Microsoft Account to access the web app.
Tip: learn how to use Windows 11 without a Microsoft account.
From the menu at the top, select “View.”
Notice how the document turns white while the rest stays dark.How to Enable Dark Mode in Word for Android and iOS
If you’d like to enable dark mode while using Word for Android and iOS, you can. Microsoft has started rolling out native support for dark mode in the Android app. There’s no option to switch to the dark theme from the iOS app, though. Instead, you’ll have to use a workaround to get a partial dark-themed experience on Word for iOS.Android
Open the Word app on your phone.
Tap your account bubble in the upper-left corner.
Select “Settings” at the bottom.
Scroll down until you find the “Display Preferences” section and tap on “Theme.”
Word, including your pages, will become completely dark.
If you want your pages to be white, open a Document, tap on the three dots in the upper-right corner and select “Switch to Light Background” from the menu at the bottom.iOS
On iOS, you’ll need to first enable the system-wide dark mode feature, which will force the Word app to automatically adopt it.
Open the “Settings” app on your phone and go to “Display & Brightness.”
At the top, tap on the “Dark” option under “Appearance.”
Open the Word app. It should feature blackened elements, but the page color will be white.Frequently Asked Questions Can I change the color of my page?
You can. Actually, this is an alternative to enabling the “Never change the document page color” feature in Options. To change your Word page color, simply go to the “Design” tab, press on “Page Color” and select white. Alternatively, pick any of the theme colors that appeals to you. This can be a solution if you want to use the “Dark Gray” theme and also change the page color to a shade of gray/black (as opposed to the default white). Note that if you open a new document, you’ll need to change the “Page Color” yet again to use the same color you set before. On mobile, this option is not available.What’s the difference between the “Colorful” and “White” theme options?
If you go for the “White” option, the menu at the top won’t feature that familiar blue color. All tabs and options underneath will be white. However, the blue accent will remain on the “File” option, as well as the bottom part of the display. The “Colorful” theme retains the blue accents in the top menu.
Image credit: dimarik16 via 123rf. All screenshots by Alexandra Arici.
Alexandra is passionate about mobile tech and can be often found fiddling with a smartphone from some obscure company. She kick-started her career in tech journalism in 2013, after working a few years as a middle-school teacher. Constantly driven by curiosity, Alexandra likes to know how things work and to share that knowledge with everyone.
Subscribe to our newsletter!
Our latest tutorials delivered straight to your inbox
Sign up for all newsletters.
Update the detailed information about Let’s Talk About Sex, In The Dark on the Daihoichemgio.com website. We hope the article's content will meet your needs, and we will regularly update the information to provide you with the fastest and most accurate information. Have a great day!